Today is a special episode – no interview or guest – because I am sharing a deeply personal story about my body. Since the age of fifteen, I’ve had a horrible relationship with myself and what I looked like, and after being labeled a “food addict”, I started on the dark path of yo-yo dieting and supposed quick fixes. For almost all my life, I have been measuring food, counting calories, working out obsessively, and sometimes even starving myself in an attempt to hit that perfect size. I have tried every diet and fad in the book, and when I came across an ad for CoolSculpting a few years ago, I couldn’t resist going for a consultation to see if this procedure would bring me one step closer to that goal in had in mind for so long. But what happened after the procedure is what really shook my world and pushed me further down the edge of self-hatred. This story has a happy ending though, so tune in to hear how I eventually forgave myself and fell in love with my body again.
Key Points From This Episode:
- Thoughts on the different reasons why people share pictures of themselves on social media.
- Accepting that not everybody who posts a picture of their body is fishing for compliments.
- Using natural skincare products and makeup, and keeping things simple.
- How my life was disrupted when I was sent to a strict boarding school in my teens.
- Being labeled a “food addict” and starting down the destructive path of yo-yo dieting.
- How the compliments about looking good fueled my unhealthy relationship with food.
- Losing 17 pounds in a month on the HCG diet and maintaining the weight by being restrictive.
- Falling in the trap of thinking that I’d be happy if I looked a certain way.
- Getting CoolSculpting, what it entails, and why it was such an attractive option for me.
- Ignoring my inner voice and leaving the facility with buyer’s remorse.
- The indents that the attachment left on my thighs and all the excuses I was told.
- The awful awareness that I did that to myself and going through the process of forgiveness.
- How I slowly learned to love my body and myself – bumps and all.
- The key to loving your body long-term: fitness, nutrition, and a ton of patience.
“Almost my entire life has just been this quest to be skinny. To me, achieving the perfect body meant restrictions.” — @Xtal_Rose [0:04:28]
“I was obsessed with my weight. I was obsessed with my size. I hated myself for never being able to hit and keep the perfect numbers that I had in my mind.” — @Xtal_Rose [0:08:03]
“My desperation for perfection was greater than the voice telling me that I should stop and that I didn’t need this.” — @Xtal_Rose [0:12:44]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: