Do you or does someone you know exhibit hyper-independence? Kate Kelly suggested in an Instagram post that if you don’t need anyone and must do everything yourself, this is an indication that your ability to trust has been injured by people letting you down and failing you. Chrystal has taken this quote one step further by suggesting that this belief that someone has to do everything on their own is a trauma response that is usually the result of ‘father wounding’. Today on the Self Love Breakfast Club, Chrystal delves deep into the issue of father wound and opens up about her own relationship with her father, how it negatively impacted her to crave anything that resembled love, and how she eventually overcame this. Chrystal suggests that highly-driven women feel they have to do everything on their own, not just in work, but also in their healing, which is actually counterproductive. Tuning in, you’ll hear a breakdown of some of the symptoms exhibited by women with a father wound, how it relates to worthiness, and why growing and healing is so much more effective with support. To hear some helpful advice on where to begin healing your own father wound, tune in today!
Key Points From This Episode:
- Thoughts on the Kate Kelly Instagram post that inspired this episode.
- What father-wounding is.
- Chrystal shares the story of her personal parental wounding.
- How father-wounding results in hyper-independence and the feeling of never being good enough.
- How Chrystal’s father wound led her to crave anything that resembled what she thought was love.
- How she stopped being an attention whore and started hustling for her worth through work.
- How driven women have to do things on their own, not just in work but also in healing.
- Why growing and healing is faster with support.
- A breakdown of the signs that suggest that someone has a father wound.
- Thoughts on hyper-independence and the difference between not needing to rely on the external and pushing it away.
- What to do to heal from a father wound: begin with breathing.
- The importance of asking for help and allowing yourself to receive it.
- Why you should celebrate your wins, even the small ones.
- Getting more support and guidance: Join the self-love breakfast club.
“I used being pretty, being sexy, that was so important to me, and having male attention was so so important to me. I went years just desperate for attention, desperate for affection, I wanted love. I would take anything if it resembled what I thought was love.” — Chrystal Rose [0:07:35]
“The reality was I was consciously hustling for the worth, love, and validation I never received from my parents growing up. And it was lonely!” — Chrystal Rose [0:09:20]
“Growing in a vacuum is really hard. We need other people, not just for support, but also for guidance, we need other people for inspiration, we need other people as mirrors of what’s possible for us. We need other people!” — Chrystal Rose [0:09:57]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: