Remember being a teenager and how unkind you were to yourself? Remember wishing you were prettier, skinnier and more worthy of love?
On this week’s episode of The Self Love Breakfast Club, Deb McCollum returns for a girlfriend chat about the insecurities of adolescence. Together, Deb and Chrystal discuss their teen years and the advice they would give their younger selves. Everyone has things about the past that they wish they could change. However, it’s essential to be kind to yourself and not let your growing pains define who you are as an adult.
Tune into Chrystal and Deb’s conversation on people-pleasing, male validation, body image and the importance of communication. Learn how they slowed down enough to stop fixating on the destination and finally appreciate the journey.
- “Stop trying to people please is the first thing I would tell my younger self. If I could just smack her against the head and say, ‘Stop it. This is not serving you. This is not helping you. Why are you so worried about what everyone’s thinking about you?’” (6:50-7:07)
- “At the end of the day, you go to bed with your own thoughts. And that’s on you then if you’re going to think that about yourself, and you’re not going to feel good. And so, I would tell my younger self to be more kind to myself, the way I am kind to other people.” (17:59-18:13)
- “It didn’t matter how skinny I actually was, I never felt like I was….I was always picking myself apart. But if I had just learned to lift weights and been told, ‘No, this is good, and you’ll look great, and you’ll feel better, and you’ll be strong and, let’s focus on strength as opposed to the skinny,’ I can’t even imagine what my confidence would have been like, and just how I would have felt in my body in my 20s. I literally wish I had found it.” (22:03-22:38)
- “People are afraid of what others are going to say if they voice their true feelings or opinions, or, hey, this is bothering me. And to be honest, to this day, I still have to rehearse things. I’ll do it, but I have to rehearse it, I have to be ready. And I have to mentally prepare myself sometimes….And that’s the work that I’ve done to be able to communicate with someone.” (27:31-28:00)
- “I skipped steps because I just wanted to get to the finish line, and I never understood the journey. Like, the journey is supposed to feel like the destination. If the journey doesn’t feel like the destination, the journey is what needs work, not necessarily where you want to go. Where you want to go is going to forever shift, the target is going to keep moving.” (31:21-31:47)
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